Wednesday, August 31, 2011

it's getting close!

in just over two weeks, i'll be back home in san diego. i'm sort of in shock. one more day here in slovenia, then venice, rome, switzerland and then a very long plane ride. everything has gone by so quicly, yet at the same time i feel like i've been traveling for years. there's a lot i'm looking forward to about this year, though, so i think that will help when the shittiness of leaving kicks in.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

we don't want to sleep tonight

well, the girls just left for the airport. as for me, i'm getting a personal tour of stuttgart by one of matthias' friends before heading out on my train for prague! is it weird that the whole trip hasn't hit me yet? i feel like if i went home with the rest of the girls, i would still be satisfied with what i saw and did while i was here - but in reality i still have the majority of my traveling left to do. my goals: be open to last minute changes, meet new people, step out of my comfort zone and make it home alive. if i accomplish at least most of those, i'll be very happy...the last one is a big priority, though. the entire environment of hostels will be helpful to all of those, also. when we stayed in hostels in berlin and amsterdam, the other folks i was traveling with didn't seem to dig them so much, but i loved them even with the dirtiness and all the other downsides that accompany them!

well, until next time, blogging world.

Monday, August 15, 2011

i could feel my heartbeat taking me down




the other night i was talking about friendships with kate while we were waiting for dinner to be ready. i was explaining how amazed i still am that friendships are on one hand so unbelievably crucial to having a fulfilling life, yet at the same time so fickle. these last few weeks with the girls have definitely proven that to me yet again. when i first got to paris, i didn't really care much for most of the people there so i chose to spend a lot of my daytime hours alone instead. i quickly learned that that would only be worth it for a short time. i eventually found a few girls who were worth giving up the independence of solo day trips in order to enjoy their company, luckily.

but these last few weeks. man. i just could never have imagined they would end up this way. i wouldn't say that i know kate much better since coming here, but only because i've spent so much time with her before this that i don't feel like there's a huge amount left to learn. i am hugely grateful that when i leave here i will only think more highly of her, considering how easy it is to get sick of people when traveling with them. and i am so, so glad that i got to have this trip with paulina. i didn't know her too well before this, and i might have never gotten to know her much better had it not been for coming here with her. but thank goodness i did, because i'm pretty much in love with the girl now. so, at the very least, i will leave germany with that. two improved friendships is a pretty good souvenir if you ask me.

being here these last six or seven weeks has made me really want to travel with chris again. when we went on our road trip together, it wasn't perfect, obviously, but i was pleasantly surprised that we were so compatible when we traveled. some people get along really well, but just shouldn't travel together and i'm so glad that we're not some of those people! i'm trying to figure out how i can save enough money to go backpacking through southeast asia next summer already, and i really hope it can work out somehow. there's a lot of big plans in the works right now, and i can't wait to let everyone in on them.

also, i would pay an obscenely high price for a good burrito right now.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

part two of my eurotrip and some news.

9 more days with the girls and matthias! one of the best parts of traveling around europe is that every time we meet someone they tell me how great a summer they spent in prague is or how budapest is their favorite city or make suggestions for when i go to barcelona. it leaves me in a constant state of anticipation.

chris and i are together again. honestly, i can't believe how it's literally taken away every bad thought in my head that's been drowning me for the last few months. even though a lot of great things happened during them, they've without a doubt been some of the worst of my life. as hard as it's going to be to make our plans for our futures and careers work together, i know it's going to be worth it. and if our time apart taught me anything it's that no job and no grad school will make me feel as happy as hearing "i love you" from chris. it's hard to not spend every one of my spare minutes thinking about how amazing it's going to feel to see him at the airport and be able to just hug and kiss him and tell him how much i love him; i try to stay in the moment and enjoy europe (and don't worry, i am!) but it's always in the back of my mind a little bit. i was talking with paulina and kate on the train a few days before we officially decided to get back together and i was explaining that instead of feeling better and better as time went on, i only fell more in love with him. every day i couldn't wake up next to chris didn't help me get over him, it only reminded me of what a great and unbelievably wonderful thing we have. at the end of the day, i'm proud of us. we made a hard decision and thought about things long term, but once we realized we made a mistake, we fixed it despite the judgements we'll most definitely get from others for it. and honestly, i couldn't care less. because here i am in a beautiful country, in an exciting continent on this crazy trip and the reason that i'm smiling is because i'm thinking about the same man that i've been insanely, madly in love with since i've been sixteen years old. who knows - maybe i'll look back at this when i'm forty-five and laugh at how naive i was. or maybe i'll look back at it, then look next to me at chris and our life that we've made together every step of the way and laugh with him about how we knew it from the very beginning. we knew we'd make it.