Wednesday, April 21, 2010

swirls of luminosity

i remember being a child, back when you wore colorful socks to fit in with fellow four foot taller-ers, unlike the newest tendencies for teen angst to be emphasized through neon footwear. whenever the weight of reality pulled at my confidence and weighed down my felicity, i immediately sought out my trusty release from the world. laying down my head and body, i would close my eyes and enjoy the darkness and all of the possibilities that could fill it. but this black abyss was never enough for my escapist tendencies, so i would begin to rub and push down on my eyelids until that simple darkness turned into something much more enticing: vibrant reds and blues and yellows would appear and set my imagination on fire. no longer was i avoiding yells, but was simply too captivated by the fireworks of my mind to care about world war three outside my bedroom door. this was no duck and cover tactic, no, no, i would remind myself: no one in their right mind would be strong enough to ignore the pull of such picturesque scenes. let me assure you, this resistance of the real world was not proof of my weakness; for if the colors dancing upon my eyelids were as vivid as the cries echoing in my ears then who could say which reality was tangible and which was a fabrication of a nine-year-old's mind?

Monday, April 5, 2010

oh dear, don't hate me guys

my soul finally feels like writing again, but only in moments at a time on scrap paper or in between biology notes. i shall overcome this mental block, if it's the last thing i do.

however, i have to share this exciting news with you.
okay, that was very misleading.
it's actually not all that exciting to anyone but me.
lately i've been feeling as if i've fallen even more in love with chris. now, if you were to tell me this weeks ago, i would have thought you crazy. "why, that's not possible sir or ma'am, i am in love to the maximum indeed!" but alas, here i am and sometimes my heart feels like it could just burst at any moment.

sometimes i wonder if i allow myself to be extra gushy online because i'm so shy about it in person. people are always telling chris and i how lovely we are together and what a great couple we make, but i just blush and say thank you.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

there's so many subjects to want to discuss! just letting readers know i haven't disappeared, my thoughts are just flying a little too quickly to write down lately!